Today is my annual performance evaluation at work. I’m not totally worried about it because when my boss is unhappy with something I’ve done, she lets me know. We’re cool like that.
I do have some apprehension though for today’s meeting and it stems from two places. First, the fact that annual evaluations were sort of surprises at my old job. Not only were you not totally sure where things stood with the bosses, but they’d always throw you something that you never saw coming. Like one year I was told that I needed to blow dry my hair before work, another I was told they didn’t like the way I sat in my chair. There’s some residual fear crap going on.
The second reason is a little more difficult to put into words, but I’ll try. (I’m going to toot my own horn for a bit now, so be prepared.) I know that I’m a talented, hardworking, creative, personable, quick to learn something new type of employee. I excel at rolling with the punches and being able to change what I’m doing on a dime if needed and work rather well with difficult people and situations. I also have no problem getting up in front of a crowd and delivering a speech, presentation or training. I can often think of the complications a new idea or concept will present before it’s even implemented and when new ones come up, I’m pretty good at finding the solution quickly. I’m great with people – especially convincing them that they should do what I’d like them to do! I’m also technically inclined, good at planning stuff and a whole other list of things that I don’t feel like listing out to bore you, but it’s been said by not only the people I work with, but by clients, that my talents are being wasted in my position now.
I’m not good at sitting still, feeling bored, and focus is something I sometimes struggle with on a fairly regular basis.
Some of that I just am, some of it I learned at my previous job…and I’m ok with that and who I am. It gets complicated at work though because my job is more paper than people, more copy than creative, more or less the same type of work day in and day out, and I can go entire days without a phone call or seeing another person if I want to.
We read Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap… and Others Don’t, by Jim Collins for the work book club and it hit close to home. One of the messages in the book is that if you think of your organization like a bus, the first thing you have to do is to get the right people on the bus for things to work well. The next part is that you must have the right people in the right seats on the bus for things to be great.
While I am a good fit for the organization I work for because I understand what we do, the people we work with and the politics behind what we do, I don’t think I’m in the right seat…and I’m terrified that at one of these meetings, I’m going to blurt that out. (Before you ask, there is very little if any seat reassignment at my job. I’ve tried!)
Now to figure out what to do about this…Thoughts?